What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 01:04
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
TEXT:
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Why are white women not interested in dating Asian men? Are they not attractive to you at all?
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
What is the thing that the olden generation enjoys more than the modern generation?
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Why do I feel worthless most of the time?
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Make Nazis afraid again!
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And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Which is a good budget sunscreen for my oily skin?
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
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I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
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Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
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Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.